kitty_curiosity’s blog

So, it's been forever since I've been able to finish a book. Life is too busy and when you live with someone else you seldom get alone time... well... we do our own thing in the house but my mind barely lets me finish a thought let alone a book lately.  I've been reading Wicked for what seems like over a year - I just dove back into the book and I'm loving it all over again - it's just gotten to the juiciest part (NO SPOILERS PLEASE). I hope to be able to go see the live show of this book some day... however I don't think it will make me as excited as the book - movies and shows etc seldom do. (ie I love Forrest Gump the movie... the book is NOTHING like the movie).

My reason for writing this blog is wanting to find some new books to read (or old) I am open to all suggestions. So suggest away - it's going to be winter soon, lots of cozy up on the couch days I'm sure! :)

I realized I haven't been on here in ages... I truly loved coming to vox because the questions of the day make me feel so creative, and give me something to write about.  I also feel horrible that I didn't take the time to document my deep rooted pain, for my mother's passing, and my ex-boyfriend's passing... as I did for my grandmother and my best friend's father... then again maybe it was because I was too close to the subject. I just read, for a third time my post about my grandmother and Tammy's father's passing... and all the emotion I have of not knowing how I'd handle things without my parents... little did I know that just a few short months later, I'd be in the SAME position, losing my mother. It still hurts... it seems like eternity that I've been without her... in reality it's only been 4 months... I'm up, I'm down, I'm left and right. I'm so happy to have so many people close to me to help me, but at the same time it's hard when you're a 31 year old woman, with the frightened 4 year old inside, crying for her mother. All I can hear at night sometimes is that little girls voice saying... "I want my mommy"... and I realize... inside that 4 year old girl is still alive... she's still scared, and even at age 31 isn't always sure what she will do without her mother. Thankfully I have my father... he's my rock... and I have a feeling I will be in some horrible shape, the day I lose him... He killed me when he said... the weekend of her wake... that he always thought he'd go first... I scolded him and told him to please not talk about that right now... and he hugged me.

Death has come WAY too much this year... I'm hoping that the rest of my year will be brighter. I'm sure I've written about this on my other journal sites, I'm not sure... daily routine is still a bit of a blur for me lately. I get through the day... take time to myself as needed, and lose my shit when I need to... seriously.. I can't bottle this up. I've had one huge dramatic full on tears flying episode... and thankfully Mike was right there for me. I've tried really hard to vent about Larry, my ex, and get it all out.. I feel bad talking about him or crying over him to my current boyfriend, but Mike's a serious trooper and he's been great... I will always be sad I had stones left unturned with my ex, but I feel an even worse guilt with the stones I left unturned with my mother. SO I remind myself everyday to talk to her when I need to... tell her how I feel... I pray her soul can hear me... and that she is at rest.

Show us your favorite album cover.

Stickyfingers

I don't know if this is one of my favorite of all times, but it's definitely an album cover that I am so happy I own and I think it's completely awesome that the Rolling Stones went through this much trouble to market themselves. Add too it that the man responsible for the design is none other than the Pop Art King, Andy Warhol that adds to it. I LOVE the Sticky Fingers album - love it and I love the fact you can unzip the pants for a pair of tighty whiteys... It's a bit of graphic design and package design mastery as well - when the album originally shipped out they had issues with the zipper denting the albums inside the packages, so they had to rethink the original concept all together... trouble shooting and knowing all the issues that went into creating this bit of art really intrigues me. So here is is... one of my favorite cover arts of all time.. Sticky Fingers by the Rolling Stones and Mr. Warhol!

P.S. Talk about smuggling sausage/cucumbers/socks/or whatever that model has in his pants... EEP!

The seventh season of "American Idol" premieres tonight.  Will you be watching, or are you over it?

UGH... I'm so over this damn show... I will probably watch the train wreck auditions because let's be honest, they're the best part of the damn show.  There hasn't been an Idol that's very great, unless you count Carrie and Kelly - the rest of them.. OMG kill me!

I just am not as into the show as I used to be... the saturation of reality tv and contestant shows kills me. I mean I enjoyed So you think you can dance... I will admit that.. but I didn't watch it religiously... honestly I've been a bit more into VH1's CELEBreality... Rock of Love, Celebrity Rehab, things like that... and yes.. I'm a douche that watches The Hills... it's all bullshit, it's all scripted but there's nothing quite like being able to kick back and not have to think long and hard about what you're watching.. I NEED to zone out sometimes.

P.S. I'll admit... for whatever reason I've started watching Keep up with the Kardashians... what the HELL is wrong with me??!?

Midnight

Well, she's probably not new but I've just been introduced to her artwork and I'm SO in love. I wish I could post all her pictures here but I figured just one was enough - being obsessed with black cats and loving my own cat Angus... I just adored all the images she had of this.

Kelly Vivanco is her name and her work is just so beautiful. I just wanted to note all this so I wouldn't forget her.

I don't even know where to start. Months ago my grandmother passed, and it was tough for me. I don't know if it was the distance or the fact that while I loved her my grandmother and I were never truly close. I only got to see her 2 or three times a year tops as a child, and once I was an adult it was more like once a year. I loved her dearly, there's not doubt about that. But her passing was something I was able to mourn, and not so much get back up and go... but let's say it was easier than this will be.  Everyone grieves in their own way - and for me, remembering the good times with my grandmother was easiest. I now own a lot of interesting things that tell me a bit about my history in my father's family. She was a very interesting woman, someone I wish I would have known better, but through her things I get a better idea. Needless to say I was worried that my emotion sensors were dead. I cried one night, and then I was done. I felt horrible for my father, because I can't imagine NOT having my parents in the picture.. but one night was all I cried. Maybe if I had gone to the funeral, I would have had more emotion. I lost it at my friend Malcolm's funeral a few years ago. I don't know I just felt like a robot w/ no emotion.

This week I realized that I'm not a robot and while I was beside myself with sadness part of me was smiling. Maybe it's a matter of how close you are to someone as how you will react. I have been crying for a few days now, and my emotions have been up and down. A man that I will always call Dad #2, is close to his last days. My best friend, Tammy's father is battling a serious bacteria infection, as well as cancer. The doctors have told him he had 10 days to live, if they could beat the bacteria he'd have a fighting chance and possibly 6 months with his cancer, to live. However his body was not responding to the treatment for the infection and her father is ready to pass. This is something I can't imagine dealing with - I've never honestly heard my friend Tammy cry... she has finally found out she too is not a robot. Together I think we've found our breaking points and it's for the men in our lives.  Her father was always a happy man, funny as hell and so fun to sit and chat with. We had a long standing running joke... he called all of us "BOOZY BROWN AND HER BOOZE CREW"... every week we'd go out drinking and having fun, and he'd tell us, remember you get ONE get out of jail free card... we never had to use it. This week while saying his good-byes to all Tam's friends (who thinks to do that, I guess he really did think of us as daughters)... Pearl, one of the three members (Me, Tam and Pearl were the crew)... Pearl said she'd need her get out of jail free card tonight... he laughed and told her she was too late.  I decided that when and if I get to chat with him, I'm going to tell him to talk to St. Peter and make sure we have Get Into Heaven Free cards, because the Booze Crew is going to need them!

My heart is aching for Tammy, Sean and her older brothers Ron and John. I can't imagine letting my father go. My heart also goes out to her mother... I've never seen a woman so full of love for her husband and so full of fight to deal with this, she married him and when she said forever... she meant it. This woman is amazing to me! She's the type of wife I hope I'll be when the day comes!!!! The whole family is so strong, and they all care for each other with all the battles they've been through it amazes me they continue to be a total unit. I can't help but think that's from their mom and their father's patience and love.

I can't imagine my father being gone. At age 31, deep down I'm still his little girl, I'd be completely frozen.

Needless to say I didn't fly home for my grandmother's funeral, and I still feel bad about missing that. She was my last living grandparent. Something in me is determined to be there for Tammy's father's funeral. He keeps telling her, today is the day... he's ready to go. Tammy hopes that it is, not just so she and her family can rest, but so that her father can do the same as well.  His pain is unbearable.

I hope that he's able to pass quietly. He's said most of his good-byes and they had the last family get together yesterday. He's ready and as much as his wife doesn't want to let him go, I think she's ready for him to be at peace she's told him, I'm doing all I can, now it's God's will.

I just had to write all this down because the emotion I'm feeling for the first time in a while made me realize it isn't that I don't love my grandmother... I think it's all related to your true rooted relationship with someone. I see this through Tammy's eyes... I put myself in her shoes... and her father even though I haven't seen him in probably three years... feels like my 2nd dad.

I wish him well, I wish him peace and I wish Tammy's family the strength they need to get through this.

What won't you miss about 2007? 
Submitted by uncagedbird.

I tried to think of a few simple things that I wouldn't miss about 2007... but the first thing that came to mind and the main thing that came to mind was... George W. Bush as president. I'm so ready for a new opinion/vision of what needs to be happening, not only here in the United States but all over the world. Our power shapes the views of so many different countries. Be it allies or people against us. I'm so tired of the situation in Iraq - have we done accomplished anything that's going to be a staying positive at this point? Sure Sadam is gone, but who's going to replace him and will the situation be any better for us (selfish question) and or for them as a country (unselfish question).

It's hard for me to wax political - I don't have all the answers, I don't have all the information. I have a hard time committing to either side as well, I'm a complete Independent. There are things the Republicans believe in that I can honestly say... ok, I dig that.  As well as the Democratic party that I can honestly say... you know what, I agree. But at the same time... there are a lot of things that I have not a single clue about. I want to get more into politics, and it all starts with research I guess.

I remember 4 years ago - wow it's freaking been that long. I voted for the first time.. yes I was 27 and voting for the first time in my life... my dad was SO disappointed in my choice for president.  He's a Republican (a very liberal one but he's a die hard Republican), I don't have to tell you who I voted for... but I just rationalized that I might not know the correct answers in this presidency, and clearly George Bush is wondering at times as well, and maybe he did the best he could (doubtful)... but I made the choice I wanted to based on the fact that I wasn't pleased with all Bush had done in the past 4 years.

I don't regret my choice at all because I'm even more disappointed with Bush.

I look forward to the next person who takes office. I hope more good than harm will be accomplished. I guess it's time for me to register to vote in the state of Alabama so I don't miss out on this. Thankfully Mike and I can go together to handle this - I believe he's still registered in Tennessee.

Here's to 2008 - I need to start researching my choice for a president more closely...

Show us your guilty pleasure.

Guilty Pleasure...

How far from your last home do you live? Why did you move and are you glad you did? 
Submitted by Matthew 25.

Lets see. Since living in Florence, AL I've moved three times. Every time our lease has been up, we've been searching for a new home. 

FIRST YEAR
This could also be semi described as my first home away from home w/ my dad.  Sure I lived in dorms and lived for summers w/ friends but never had I actually been OUT ON MY OWN, until now.  Mike had found a fantastic, three level apartment in downtown Florence. The living room had ceilings that were 2 levels high, it was absolutely amazing. We had an awesome view out the front window, which was also 2 stories high. Our apartment overlooked N. Court Street, which is one of the main streets in Florence. This meant that every parade in town that was held, we had a front row seat in a climate controlled environment. It was wonderful to watch the parades during the winter months in the warmth of our own home, sipping on beer vs. freezing on the street (which we've done for the past 2 years) and drinking hot cocoa.  We had an amazing courtyard inside of the complex - it felt almost Melrose to me, although we didn't have scandal or anything like that... unless you count the guy we pegged for a drug dealer across the way from our apartment. Otherwise it was an amazing apartment. 1 Bedroom, 1 bath, laundry on site, but not in our apartment, big kitchen and dining area, amazing living room and a tiny loft for our computers etc.  The main reason we moved from the apartment, was that we felt we were out growing it quickly - honestly we may have been able to toss out some stuff and do just fine.  Deep down we wanted a dog and knew that living downtown would be unfair to the breed we were looking for so we started searching for homes.

SECOND YEAR
We settled on a house in what seemed like a nice little neighborhood.  The landlord was none other than my first boss when I moved here. Being familiar w/ our landlord made me feel better about the big step into a new home, and the increased rent. At first things seemed great but then the annoying daily issues we had became a lot to bear.  We couldn't stand the constant boom of systems coming through the neighborhood at all hours of the night... we did indeed figure out we lived in the ghetto.  Granted it was a nicer end of it, most of our neighbors were older retired people who kept their homes looking beautiful.  Once in the backyard, you faced those that weren't so nice.  The house was heated w/ gas heat, and we only had 2 registers that sent out this heat... forcing us to use space heaters daily and having electric/gas bills that were $300+ all winter long.  Summer wasn't much of a break either since we had window units.  The house was a nice size, plenty of storage space, 2 bedrooms, one bathroom, but we also had a HUGE roach problem... UGH... trust me when I say... I was not pleased, I HATE roaches, and since living in Florida for 6 months NEVER had to deal with them.  It all became too much and decided we needed to find a home that had central heating and air, similar or less rent payment, a more cozy feel and in a better neighborhood.

THIRD YEAR
We finally found a cozy home.  We are located in an awesome area, we even share a neighborhood w/ an original Frank Lloyd Wright home!!! We are very close to the hospital and the most noise we hear is if a Med Evac Helicopter has to land or take off. We have an amazing screened in back porch and while the house feels smaller to me, we have gained a storage/wash room as well as a great fenced in back yard WITH privacy, something we didn't have at the old house was privacy!!! June and Angus, our pets are SO much more excited about living there as are we.  Sometimes it feels cramped to me, so I've tried the less is more approach to decorating, since our rooms are no longer so large or long. The beauty of it all is that we are in a better neighborhood and our rent is almost $100 less. And the utility bill, well lets just say we moved here in September, and it's still hot during that time in Alabama... and we've had some colds nights and NONE of the utility bills have been over $150 - it's nice to finally feel at home!

Resolutions.

Mine are so "basic" - same stuff... different year... if only I had accomplished them the year before I wouldn't be writing them down again...

• lose weight. (see basic) but I do want to do this for health reasons NOT just vanity, that is simply a motivator.
• blog more. I browse this site all the time and my live journal and I never write stuff down.
• better time management. I need to try to learn how to pack stuff together and do it all before the last minute
• make time for myself. this goes w/ the last one but it makes sense - I rarely take time for me, I can't recall the last  time I took a bubble bath.
• keep in touch. emails take me years, phone calls take a while too, but I always feel awesome after doing such acts.
• eating better means more cooking - this is something I can live with.
• SAVE MONEY/PAY OFF BILLS - this is a HUGE one! Not only do I need to do this for myself but I need to start making Mike think this way as well. It will do us both some good.
  

All in all most of my stuff is basic but I needed to write it down. Thanks vox audience for enduring another list of things I should have been doing years before now but will hopefully accomplish this year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!